Indeed he is knowledgeable, I mean, at this age if he is not, he is probably not one with good skills also.
But...
His style just so not my style, he criticizes for everything.
I think...
A little encouragement won't hurt.
Like that day, I think she did well, it was her skill that saved the day even though we did not managed to bring him back, but her plug was the only access that worked wonders.
To think she was feeling bad about it, I think she worth a pat on the shoulder.
But he didn't give it to her.
He criticized.
Yup yup.
Only he is right.
When everyone think so highly of him, the only thing that came to my mind upon seeing him is "pain".
I have got headaches when I see him.
Sigh.
One week to face him, how to live?
GG.
=(
May be some people just need to criticize others in front of everyone to gain that respect.
I am not against anyone with their own opinion/view.
I just don't get it that why is it that people always ask for suggestions and ended up with banning all ideas/suggestions.
*Roll eyes*
I mean, I respect your decision, but if ultimately it is just banning of ideas then might as well you tell me what you have decided rather than you ask for the sake of asking, waste of time and just make me feel that you pretended to be liberal but actually not.
That is why whenever Sel asked me of anything, I would just tell her to decide because there is no point in telling her, ultimately it will still be her way for she will just come up with 10000000000001 reasons to ban what you said.
Constant StruggleMo See they all found out tonight by chance that I have been going to church and they start asking me why.
Something I don't quite understand.
What I feel is, even though I believe in a certain thing, I do not want to keep mentioning it at the mouth the whole time, like God give me this God is this and God is that.
I know, He works.
That is it.
Why must a reason be present?
I told them, just by going to church doesn't make one a Christian, much like eating Indian food doesn't make you an Indian (just an example); I am still seeking for the thing that I wanted to look for.
Anyway.
Saw this.
Think this served as a very good reminder.
I feel that I am under constant struggle.
There are a lot of negative impact keep coming in life, and sometimes I am just too tired and just wanted to talk to someone about it, that someone can give me a response while on the other hand I do not wish to gossip about anyone, as I know how destructive it can be.
That constant struggle is really killing me, my personality and my relationships.
Sigh.
I really wish to become a better person, sincerely.
Somehow I still want to maintain some hope there by telling myself that it is not the worst.
I got reprimanded almost everywhere I go, some I don't even know if it is legit.
Sigh.
From EN to classmate up to even DDN level.
I asked J if I was really so wrong that I have to be questioned by them in that way, I wasn't skiving, in fact I was vigorously typing my notes like never so energized before.
Why am I wrong?
J said she has no answer for it, and she concluded it by saying that I am just "unlucky".
Smirk.
Yeah.
Unlucky, like forever.
I tried.
Honestly.
Looking on the bright side by telling myself that it could have been worse, but how helpful is that by just being "unlucky".
It is just THAT SAD that I am always and can only be "unlucky".
Even Sel was asking "why are you getting chided everywhere you go?"
I look to God and I asked why.
Why me?
Why it happened?
Why?
No answer is the answer.
I could only be like that, in that way.
>_<.
No one understands.
Or may be I don't need that someone.
Just watched "When Marnie was There".
Felt it when Marnie disappeared without a word after she claimed that Anna was her best friend and will never leave Her and told Anna how much she favor her.
Anna couldn't understand why Marnie just took off like that, felt betrayed that the person she finally decided to trust walked out on her.
Two injured souls.
Love the song.
☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★
"Fine On The Outside"
I never had that many friends growing up
So I learned to be okay with just me
Just me, just me, just me
And I'll be just fine on the outside.
I like to eat in school by myself anyway
So I'll just stay right here
Right here, right here, right here
And I'll be fine on the outside
And so I just sit in my room
After hours with the moon
And think of who knows my name
Would you cry if I died?
Would you remember my face?
So I left home
I packed up and I moved far away
From my past one day
And I laughed
I laughed, I laughed, I laughed
I sound fine on the outside
Oh oh oh [4x]
Oh oh oh
Sometimes I feel lost sometimes I'm confused
Sometimes I find that I'm not alright
And I cry, and I cry, and I cry
Oh oh oh [4x]
Oh oh oh
So I just sit in my room
After hours with the moon
And think of who knows my name
Would you cry if I died?
Would you remember my face?
☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★
"Who knows my name, would you cry if I died, would you remember my face?"
A bit early today and usually I don't like to write that early because in such cases a lot of times a lot things will happen the whole day.
But I don't want to forget this.
I am thankful for my amnesia.
Was chatting with a friend last night and was talking about some unhappiness a couple of months ago. I was said to have a sulky face everytime I met her and I couldn't say much because I can't remember why, which only a day later then I remember why.
Anyway, I think because it was just too unhappy already and I just deliberately forget about what happened even though I think it is kinda legit for me to react in such manner because I remember of speaking to someone about it and she too felt it that way. But I choose to forget about it so that in a way I do not want to use the same thing over again to "attack" her (is attack the word? Hmm).
Anyway, the whole point is that... I am thankful for being forgetful in such way, probably would make me a happier person too though I wished may be this kind of amnesia can last a~b~i~t~ longer, or rather, not to recall any unhappiness again.
I don't know if you are going to see this but if you want to know, I am okay for you to ask me again for the reason, but you probably need to give me time to recall again for it is making me all bitter again and I don't like that feeling, so I am trying to let it slipped off my mind again. I can still try recalling if you are still interested to know when you see this. I know you were reading here previously, now I ain't sure. I know you don't like to communicate this way, but if everything is peaceful, I'd rather remain status-quo in a way because I am not very sure how important this is to you while on my side, it is all in the past already. Or... I might already recall to tell you and He meant it for me to tell you.
Yesh, and I know you know that I am referring to you. Else I will only tell you if you are the right person.
Sometimes, I guess we just get too busy with the little stuff in life that we lost ourselves.
Suddenly my mind become very clear tonight, I don't know why.
2015 had been bad, if I must say. I felt that I have lived till I totally lost myself, my senses and my thoughts, somehow just felt like something had clouded my thoughts.
I lost a few friendships in the midst of it, and I almost lost a very precious friendship.
ALMOST.
Thank God, for salvaging it ultimately.
I might be a little overly sensitive, but I just felt that someone else has been working in between us to pull us apart, for that familiar use of that words when we sat down to talk, but I do not want to jump into any conclusions. In between, there were a lot of things that I am aware, but I deliberately ignore it. Certain things I still think that if it doesn't change anything, is there any point in talking about it?
Anyway.
2016.
I wish I could do/abide by it, but I really want to try and learn, to see the goodness in every bad, to find 3 things to be truly thankful for every day (not the type of being thankful for being alive and be thankful to be able to take the next breath effortlessly kind -_-). It might sound silly but that is what I really want to do.
So... Here is today's.
I am thankful for having my a brave friend who listened to me about how I felt when our friendship hit the rock and almost shattered, that she didn't react negatively to what I have said because that puts me to build more courage to tell her things in future, be it good or bad things.
I am thankful, for that I have really had a great time in the past week in Hong Kong, despite of the rushy trip and I have lesser freedom to stroll and shop.
I am thankful, for my alarm clock failed on me today. Despite of feeling sad that I missed the service today, but I think He knows what I needed the most, when I don't take care of myself well.
I love flowers.
I love pink.
I'm dainty and dirty; not a trace.
I party till dawn,
I shop till dusk.
That's coz...
I'm a girl. And a beautiful one too.
The DIVA ♥
M A R I A ( N A D I A H )
M A R I A M ( F I O N E )
The GAMBLER Sagittarius.
AND
The PERFECTIONIST Virgo.
Seemingly impossible. BUT THEY WERE THE BEST FRIENDS.
Met in a Summer in 2002.
♥ LOVES CATS ♥.
Enjoys having Pizza together.
Go Wild in a KTV.
And will LOVE each other till time ends.
WISHLIST ♥
F O R M A R I A. A DEGREE.
F O R M A R I A M. Machu Picchu.
HER AUDIENCES ♥
They applauded her and gave her a standing ovation.
