Friday, July 31, 2009
Striked7 days of MC with 5 days of Tamiflu coverage.
Seriously, I didn't thought of myself being a "victim" at all, even when they cover Mama with Tamiflu I also did not expect the virus to hit me and so hard. I mean, where I work is full of bacteria and virus and I should have enough immunity to fight against it.
-Sigh-
I hardly get any sleep last night because every hour I woke up (or should I said I was "choked"), just feel like something is sitting on my chest, even now I have find my chest very heavy.
Wonder would it go away soon or I have to wait because it feel horrible to feel suffocated.
I need oxygen, more oxygen.
URGH!
I don't like to take MC, past few years when I feel sick I would always hang on until my day off then I would go and see doctor, as for my follow up it is always a day off that I would request to keep the MC rate low.
These 2 weeks is like "compensating" of what I previously have not taken. I think the sum of this month's MC is equivalent to what I have taken for the past few years.
I think...
First year when I was in KK, I took 3 days because of the bad rashes.
Second year may be about 3 or 5 days?
Last year I remember it very clearly, it was 3 days. Why? Because I was trying my best to keep a clean record of no MC until I transfer to ICU, first month already I had diarrhea and was given 2 days of MC, then another day I took for... Gastritis, I was vomitting in the middle of the night and I remembered I called and it was Cristina who answered the call.
This year I was like hanging on not to take any MCs until this month, July, last week 2 days, and this week even better, SEVEN DAYS?! I think it is really madness, like it is fated I must take so many days of MC and I just do it at one go.
Damn.
it's
.beaNie 豆豆 again at [3:43 PM]
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Sadist May Be?I think sometimes it is just the way that people are expressing themselves and how other people are perceiving it.
When different people have different perception, misunderstanding would arise.
Like some people, every moment they talk are as if they are going to fight, but are they? It could be a way of expressing themselves.
I don't know.
I always laugh when accidents happened on me, like that day I banged my head to the hand towel machine, I laugh until I cannot stop, for me being clumpsy. Like that day when I sprain my ankle, I laughed too because things seemed so IMPOSSIBLE happened!
Like now when I am sick and coughing, I can still cheer and said "yeaaaahhhh!!!!!", but it doesn't mean that I am really cheering it, the hidden message is "cham liaoz" and I really mean "shaks, what am I going to do?"
Instead of expressing panic and fear about it, I choose to jest about it because expressing fear and worried about it won't help in any way in this situation.
I bet I probably am one of those "sadist" may be? Some may find me cruel to laugh at the misfortune (my own one of course), yet if life has to go on in whatever way it is, then I rather be one, at least I am happy in some way and some sense?
I know I shouldn't be bothered by what other people commented, because this book that I have read recently said something like no matter what you do, half the people would critisize what you have done and put you down.
So don't bother.
I just wish I have more wisdom in handling this.
My head is spinning, and...
I wanna laugh still...
LOL.
it's
.beaNie 豆豆 again at [6:30 PM]
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
福无双至，祸不单行颇有“福无双至，祸不单行”的感觉。
2 weeks ago I went for my follow up and I have seen 2 doctors.
Last week I sprain my ankle and saw the doctor who gave me 2 days MC.
And...
TA-DAH!
Today I am down with fever, 38.5c.
And not only that, my Papa is also down with fever, just that he is 0.1 degree higher than I do.
Like I very happy?
Seriously.
I FＥＥＬ LOUSY!
URGH!
How many years since I last have fever?
That was when I have appendicitis! And it's like 5 years ago!
Sigh.
What a luck.
I felt like my head is bursting when I was at work today, plus these few days it is bad days at work, cases are all kinda heavy and patients are kinda ill.
-Sigh-
Just my luck.
But hor, lucky thing is that I cancelled my appointment with Silin in view of my Mama having fever, if not I would fly her aeroplane tonight.
it's
.beaNie 豆豆 again at [6:32 PM]
Saturday, July 25, 2009
NDP PreviewWas invited by Ms Khoo to watch NDP preview last Saturday, well it's my first time ever having the chance to watch such event. Think it is WAY better than to watch it on TV, I have never ever watch the NDP on TV at all for the past like... 16 years at all because I find it too boring, yet it is totally different when you are there as a spectator. Worth going even my ankle is still kinda inconvenient given the many steps that I have had to climb...
The stage...
The lights...
The financial district...
The flag party...
The cannon...
Anyway.
Mom suddenly fell ill on Sunday and developed high fever subsequently at night, I was like touching her and find that she was burning. Now I feel more like a mother by having to nag at her to get her to go to the doctors. And strange enough that they just prescribed Tamiflu without even taking a swab for her to see if it's really H1N1, is that the new protocol that they just wacked antiviral like that? I do wonder.
And what is even more interesting is that the Tamiflu she took home is in syrup form and there is a KKH label on it...
Heard from Silin the other time that they were somewhat like called back to dilute a lot a lot a lot of Tamiflu, this is probably part of the product and is KKH mass producing to supply to all the clinics or what?
Hmm...
Anyway, just hope that Mom would get better soon otherwise probably have to send her back again for a proper swab and see what they wanna do for her.
*Pray hard*
Lastly, grats to Ms KK that her papers is finally over, hopefully she has done well!
it's
.beaNie 豆豆 again at [11:14 PM]
Thursday, July 23, 2009
彩虹彩虹作詞：阿信 作曲：阿信 / 梁伯君
坐在浴缸裡 蓮蓬頭
代替我哭泣 像下雨
其實我不知道 眼淚有沒有流
就像這故事中，你有沒有愛過我。
虛弱的窗簾 留不住
房裡的黑夜 也要走
清晨喚醒了我 照亮昨夜的夢
一直到這時候 才開始有一點懂
*你的愛就像彩虹 雨後的天空
絢爛卻教人迷惑 藍綠黃紅
你的愛就像彩虹 我張開了手
卻只能抱住風
你的愛就像彩虹 雨後的天空
絢爛卻教人迷惑 你的輸廓
你的愛就像彩虹 我張開了手
卻只能抱住風*
吻我離開我 你就像
出太陽下雨 難捉摸
越是努力揣摩 越是搞不懂
只好慢慢承認 這故事叫做錯
Oh...一層一層 一層一層
一層一層又一層層的迷宮
我來不及回頭
Oh...忽左忽右 忽上忽下忽東忽西，
忽前忽後的折磨都是你的錯弄
repeat*
吻我離開我 你就像
出太陽下雨 難捉摸
越是努力挽留 越是一無所有
只好慢慢期待 雨後你的影蹤
it's
.beaNie 豆豆 again at [9:04 PM]
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
*Pain*Pain is an illusion, it is there because I am focusing on it, so long as I don't pay too much attention, it should not hurt as much...................................
.........................................
.........................................
.........................................
=(
Am trying to pretend as though nothing happened...
But I couldn't hold it any longer when it hits 12noon.
My ankle hurts like hell.
What to do?
Bear with it lor.
-Sigh-
I wanna cry.
it's
.beaNie 豆豆 again at [7:43 PM]
Monday, July 20, 2009
My First RMS with My New Company
I just did my very first incident report (RMS) with my company.
-Sigh-
I was helping my junior to change bed sheet this morning for one of the patient who went off for some procedure and somehow when I was moving alongside the bed I slipped and twisted my ankle.
I didn't take it to heart at first till when I sat down and it keep having the tingling feeling that is super disturbing.
It happens that the physiotherapist of the ward was around and she had a look at it and said it was a little swollen and suggested ice compression, then elevate it when I take my break later (I was like.. Huh
? You mean put my leg on the table when I eat? Like how?
)
Then my preceptor who was around said has to tell boss and boss said better see doctor and put up a RMS.
And that leaves me with a swollen ankle and 2 days of medical leave.
Ok lah, not really so bad right????? I think so leh...
it's
.beaNie 豆豆 again at [4:07 PM]
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Close CallOlala...
What a close call...
And now I have one whole cubicle of patients on Tamiflu.
it's
.beaNie 豆豆 again at [11:15 PM]
Friday, July 17, 2009
Eye DoctorMy eye Dr always gives me difficult question whenever I see her.
-Sigh-
Think she also kinda sick of seeing me, someone who can't decide to proceed on for surgery, decided to see me again 8months later.
Lol.
Doesn't matter I guess, so long as everything stays as it is I just don't wanna do anything as yet.
Speaking of which...
I am always kinda "duh" about the public transport system in Singapore, imagine that this afternoon at close to 2.30pm when the ERP is still happily collecting money from the drivers who do not want to suffer like I do--- I waited for 10minutes for a train in town.
TEN MINUTES DURING a period that should still be consider as PEAK HOUR
.
And you call this DEVELOPED COUNTRY with a good public transport system?
Ok la. I mean, if you still wanna compare to Australia and New Zealand, this is nothing at all...
The problem is, THEY DON'T HAVE ERP and COE
!!!!!
DUH!
Think my eye doctor probably has some "character clashes" with me, Lol, everytime I see her something bad would happen.
Don't wanna mention what happened the first time I saw her, it was quite bad and luckily I got Ee Kian with me.
For a moment when I see the call number on screen I almost saw it wrongly...
9413
? 九死一生？？？
o甘眯即系死梗？！
Haha... Lame lah, I know. =p
By the way, Ms KK, jia you
and good luck on your upcoming exams
, don't say I always laugh at you for having to slog so hard to pass the papers. 
I am here to cheer you on! Though I very much still wanna laugh about the container of Sangria that your roommate put in your fridge to tempt you into drinking more
. Hahaaaa 
*Evil*......
Labels: Yoci at http://www.yoyocici.com
it's
.beaNie 豆豆 again at [8:23 PM]
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
So Close...Now I know why exactly why my ex-colleagues all said they are very busy in ICU...
THEY ARE NURSING A H1N1 POSITIVE CASE!
Supposed they are in scrubs now, as Xuelian told me the previous week when I went back to visit them?
Hmm...
Good thing I was too tired to prop by again today, at first I wanted to because Shida told me today is Khatijah's last day, she is retiring and I thought of going back to bid her bye, only thing is I was hold back because of another dressing again and a teaching session to the patient's relatives that is why I didn't.
Hmm...
I wonder what would happened if I am still there... It is just about close to 2 months since I left them.
Just hope that everything is fine?
Hmm...
Hopefully they take care of themselves while nursing the one who is in ICU...
All the nurses as well as the Anaesthetists who are there...
it's
.beaNie 豆豆 again at [9:26 PM]
Monday, July 13, 2009
Everything is Under ControlJust seen Dr Abel today again for my follow up appointment.
Muahaha... Everything is under control, besides he seems kinda excited to know which ward was I posted to because even before I sit down he was already like a lil' boy asking "So where???"
Lol.
Anyway, a bonus for the transfer, I actually lost 2+kg
ever since I started working... Erm... Exactly a month ago
!
I told KK about it and guess what?
She congrats me and tell me to continue to work hard to lose 10kg.
*Arh Bish!
*
Every time she said that everytime I feel like kicking her. Just like when I told her Xuelian said I have lost some weight last Friday when I prop by ICU to say hi; and when I met up with KK on Sunday, she actually tell me, "Where? Still the same what!"
.
..
...
....
.....
......
.......
........
.........
..........
.........
........
.......
......
.....
....
...
..
.
"W-H-A-T?!"
<#(*!x&$(*x%(@*$@(®(asa*@)!!#&
Give some encouragement ma! Don't expect too much at one go lar, later my heart cannot take it ok?
Well, must be too stress for her upcoming exams
that is why... KK, study too much le lah! Time to check your eye sight ok?
I shall be a nice and kind person to pardon you for that
...
Muahaha...
Oh well.
I was trying to shop for some "animal picture cards" that is small and handy to post, anyone any idea where to get or not? It is so not easy to find something ideal, either they are of the wrong size or it is just simply too ugly and unrealistic to send to someone who wish to know more about animals.
Hmm...
Mail me or drop me a message if anyone know where to get it man, I have tried Popular, not very ideal still.
Labels: Yoci at http://www.yoyocici.com
it's
.beaNie 豆豆 again at [2:45 PM]
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Another Week PassedAnother week is over~
Hee.
Kinda like more relax this week, wonder if it is because out of the 5 days I worked 3 days I work as a junior, working as a junior simply means bedside nursing such as sponging, serving breakfast, feeding, taking parameters, admission, and so on, those basic nursing care which there is no need to stress on doing changes ordered by the doctors, in simpler terms, it is MUCH LESS STRESSFUL.
Huahaha...
I know, this sounds kinda like some psychotic people but...
Finally managed to perform a successful venepuncture for patients and cannulated one of my colleagues today.
Muahaha...
Though the cannulation is kinda like a mess la, but at least get the feel of how to do it ma. Hee...
*Raining now* What a nice weather to take a nap now...
*Yawnz*
it's
.beaNie 豆豆 again at [8:25 PM]
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
Bad DayHad a very bad day at work, it was so SUPER BUSY for God knows why.
2 Chemo to hook up, 2D Echo to arrange, discharge to prepare, pleural tapping to send and to connect after the patient come back, 2 for RT, 2 dressings to do, at least 3 patients for several different allied health referral, 1 on NG feed which includes all the medicines, plus all the bloods to take and my forever missing que in getting the bloods and not to say to set a chemo plug, and on top of that, arranging for albumin from blood bank twice...
I was working non-stop the whole day, calling here calling there, with relatives who come and push to wanting to speak to drs, 2 patients who wet themselves and needed to change including the bed sheet...
Worst of all is the station Dr was on MC that makes us having to call for other Drs to cover her work when they are already so busy in settling their own station's work.
The list can still go on and on and on...
And seriously, I can't cope with so much things keep coming as I tried my best to clear off some; and I am really thankful that when I really cannot cope, my colleague, the one who is supposed to be guiding me today help me a great deal.
By the time Lin Yu helped me in teaching the care of pleural coop loop and I was standing by to calm the patient, and I killed off 2 dressings, Rathi has helped me in passing all my reports and completed all my skeletons and whatever that is outstanding.
I can't thank her enough.
And when she was like chasing me home and told me she has helped me in settling the 2 new admissions and even completed my discharge, it really touches me.
As in, she could just have stand aside and scolded me for not completing my job on time; or she can just ignore and walk off, BUT SHE DIDN'T.
She helped me in settling everything and I really appreciate that a great deal.
So...
(="=)
I burst into tears that frightened her and everyone.
Seriously, if you are not in my shoes, you won't know how much I really appreciate her for her help, especially it is not that I am not doing anything, I have tried my best to clear off things and the list just cannot stop rolling in. Most of all, she did not even show a single sign of impatience or irritated.
Phew.
That makes me more relax in continuing to complete what I need to do.
it's
.beaNie 豆豆 again at [8:02 PM]
Monday, July 06, 2009
Why Oncology?My 3 day offs is over... Like so fast hor.
Haiz.
Tomorrow would be work again (Getting really lazy huh?), arghhh!
Anyway the past week was quite busy and have learn a lot from others (many thanks for those who really guide me with great patience). Saw one cornea harvesting which is kinda like an "eye-opener" to me, well an old staff there also said she has never seen it before despite of working there for like 2 years?
I seriously think that it is kinda brave for the patient's sister in law to actually watch the whole process when they are doing it, I mean, I probably won't have the courage to watch the whole process being done to my love ones.
Met up with MS, KK (Kiki) and PS for lunch over the weekend, had a BBQ with my family on Saturday. Some pictures of food of the BBQ
...
Then Sunday itself went for a family lunch treated by Cousin Ting and subsequently met up with KK (Chan) for dinner who also gave me a treat.
...
Oh my, now coming to look at it, seems like I have just been eating non-stop over the weekend!
Feels like all the weight I have shed these few weeks due to stress and stuff has all been gained back!!!!! Oh dear~ Muahaha.... Sad about the gain but on a comfort note these are gained in happiness? Lol.
Hopefully the coming week would be fine *Fingers crossed*.
Anyway, through all these meeting up and things, almost everyone asked the same question, "Why Oncology?".
Well, probably because of Chong, my 老大 who is really good in this field and I admire her a lot.
Probably because of people who never give up until their very last breath.
Probably because of the smiles of comfort that was given by them.
Probably because of all the lil' moments I used to spend with each one of them.
I am still having flash back of my ex-patients, be it those who have passed on or those who are still here, fighting; those who gave me a lot of job satisfaction as compared to other fields which I have been in during the school years and these few years of working, though not being exposed to all the areas, I think so far this is what I would prefer to do.
Hmm...
it's
.beaNie 豆豆 again at [9:28 PM]
Sunday, July 05, 2009
Sharing of Poem---LoveI love you
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am
When I am with you.
I love you,
Not only for what
You have made of yourself,
But for what
You are making of me.
I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out;
I love you
For putting your hand
Into my heaped-up heart
And passing over
All the foolish, weak things
That you can't help
Dimly seeing there,
And for drawing out
Into the light
All the beautiful belongings
That no one else had looked
Quite far enough to find
I love you because you
Are helping me to make
Of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern
But a temple.
Out of the works
Of my every day
Not a reproach
But a song.
I love you
Because you have done
More than any creed
Could have done
To make me good.
And more than any fate
Could have done
To make me happy.
You have done it
Without a touch,
Without a word,
Without a sign.
You have done it
By being yourself.
Perhaps that is what
Being a friend means,
After all.
by Roy Croft
☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★
Words in red are actually from KK's caption from facebook, told her that I like her caption and she told me that this is actually a part of the poem, so I went online to search for it with the bits that she has.
Love this, think it is worth sharing.
I love you, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you, for what you are making of me, and what you brought out within me by your love.
Hmm...
it's
.beaNie 豆豆 again at [10:16 PM]
Saturday, July 04, 2009
冰箱I have this song in my head when I woke up this morning, a very old song that I once loved.
☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★
冰箱把大象放進冰箱有幾個步驟
把河馬放進冰箱有幾個步驟
把回憶放進冰箱會不會寂寞
把愛情放進冰箱也已經到了時候
讓眼淚一次流夠要幾個枕頭
讓明天不再難過要多少紙鶴
讓熱情變成冷漠算不算罪過
讓愛情退冰多久 才可以化為烏有
從今以後再沒有人那樣逗我
從今以後 就要分手
從今以後冰箱不必再放啤酒
從今以後 別在門口等我
從今以後再不需要別人哄我
從今以後 就算分手
從今以後日記再也不用上鎖
從今以後 甚至不是朋友
蘋果給你 檸檬給我
可樂給你 咖啡給我
自由給你 真心給我
你的給你 我的你不能帶走
☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★
Finally tomorrow would be my long awaited off day since last Thursday, so tired of working but there is a lot of revision to do.
Went back to ICU today to say hi to my ex-colleagues as I have some administrative issue to settle with my previous company, and it was Xuelian who was working, like again, 3 times I went back 3 times she happened to be on duty, how coincident!
Hiak hiak hiak.
Bet ya all wouldn't wanna know who is oncall.
That is why they said their peace ended.
Hahahaha...
Wonder why it is really so "qiao" everytime, like Haoz said, it is weirdly funny.
Hmm...
Am finally gonna meet up with some friends tomorrow after a long while man!
Glad to see that Daisy is adapting better now, I guess?
it's
.beaNie 豆豆 again at [12:50 AM]
