ClosureSometimes I wonder...
Is it better to be like this?
As in...
I just thought that it is a better to find the missing plane rather than left it a hanging mystery. No doubt all hopes have been dashed, but AT LEAST, there is a closure.
People can bid farewell to their love ones, and hopefully, move on.
I always feel that only when there is a result, psychological wound can be healed with time.
Compare to MH370 that went missing at the beginning of this year, I just think that it is really draining and tormenting to drag on without an answer. I am, more practical, do not like to carry false hope to live on, for a plane that clearly does not have more fuel to go on.
I don't know.
Just hope that God can help them, stay with them during this period of difficult time and carry them through this.
I don't know where I have read it from previously, but that says, 「人類都是回憶的製造機。」(Human beings are the machines that produce something called memories.)
Sometimes, I think it is good to have short term memories, at least you don't keep unhappy things for long.
Well, I have realized that my memory is getting poorer lately. Yet somehow I
am quite ok with it, errrmmm... Except sometimes I guess my friends cannot stand me.
Lol.
I am beginning to find that the RAM in my brain is running out. It works slower, and I begin to realize that I don't remember unhappy stuff in detail, only the main theme and outcome. Like what triggered that event? What are the things happening in between?
No idea.
Just like... How I remember you as.
You have taught me how to give unconditionally, how to care for others, how to take care of people around you with what best that you have... You used to tell me that you like me for having a big heart, what you were not aware of, was that big heart that you were talking about, was actually found by you.
Despite of the end of what we are today is not something that we expected or something that we used to picture of having, which I really cannot recall how did we get there; but I must say...
Thank you.
For pulling me out of that pit hole; showing me how powerful giving can be.
That part of you, I am very clear, is still here with me, had become a part of me, just that it is my turn to give to others like how you used to give to me. =) That was the part that was groomed by you.
I think it is good, because I am keeping the happy moments in greater details than those that are not.
When you thank me for my patience, I have to thank you for walking into my life, sticking around and not giving up on my despite of sometimes how "hopeless?" I can be.
Somehow I feel that people that you should really be sticking close with, when they have that patience to make you grow together giving each other positive influence, and I know you would say "yeah, it was you who gave that positive influence to me, not each other." *roll eye-ball despite of well, ok lah, I cannot deny that fact too. (#^.^#)
In fact, I feel that I should be the one to have to thank you for your patience because I know how difficult I can be to handle some times.
Thank you for letting me know my short comings.
Thank you for still staying by me despite of the disagreements we have had.
May our friendship stays strong always my loving sister!
Was being shouted as right in the face for something to me is really trivial and that wasn't even my fault, but because I was put as in charge of the department, I had to go and face it and promise to investigate.
My boss apologised to me when I texted her that but I asked her why does she has to when she wasn't the one who raised her voice at me. She felt sorry for having to put me through this, my mentality however, is that she put me as the in charge and that is what I have to cover for (isn't it so?). Yet, I am very thankful that she didn't leave the whole matter to me to handle alone, instead she was texting me all the way since I told her the issue and started cracking her tired brain with me at home. I said tired because she has been knocking off late these few days and I had it like that a couple of weeks ago when I finished at 7pm every morning shift (when 4pm is the official knock off time) and 11pm for afternoon shift (when 10pm is the official knock off time) and I know how it feels.
...
Coming back...
Sometimes I do wonder, are people aware of what they are actually doing?
Has it ever crossed their mind that what if they are the one who is being shouted at?
Hmm.
I wonder.
And what was taught to them by their family when they were younger?
Isn't human respect something very basic?
Basic manners?
What is the upbringing like?
Or is a meal that was not given as what they requested really such a big fuss that shouting would solve the problem?
Have they considered of those people who didn't even get proper food in the third world?
The more I think, the more questions keep pouring in, I am just getting more clueless.
...
...
...
Sometimes, I wish I know what is going on in these people's mind, like really.
Or is there any ulterior motive or hidden agenda that they want to behave in this manner?
I lived a day without the mobile phone and didn't feel anything at all, not too bad.
It wasn't deliberate, somehow before I headed out in the morning, I told myself not to forget again my waterbottle, and ended up I remember my water bottle but forgotten my phone. (=_=#)...
Anyway.
Physically, have been feeling very tired lately.
Went for a show with Boss and colleagues and I actually slept through (Slept through eh! Such a waste of money!).
Sigh.
Gets a little worrying somehow, like no matter how much I sleep I am just tired.
Imagine I slept like 8 hours last night and the moment I am on a public transport I fell asleep the moment I sat down.
And when I was eating I was also falling asleep.
Just somehow feel very lethargic and cannot do anything else besides sleeping.
.
PS. 誰會向妳送上這句「會」？
☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★
I am a lucky girl.
Because I got to know you.
I know I am blessed.
Because I know you will stay by my side no matter.
Thank you for teaching me things that I need to know and work on.
Thank you for making me a better me.
That is why, I keep thanking tonight, not only you, but Him as well.
Running WildAs I was waiting outside, I saw her sitting on her bed.
Same lighting.
Same weather.
Same angle.
Staring afar, my mind begin to wander off in the midst of the long wait.
That very day, I was drowsy.
I opened my eyes, and you were sitting at the end of the bed, quietly reading a book.
Peace.
It was your day off, knowing you would try not to come to the company on such days but by Grace you decided to come and keep me company, despite of me sleeping most of the time.
Day in, day out, every single day you will make sure you drop by, see that I am ok before you head off somewhere.
Yet it was that very day that left a mark in my mind, like a scene captured, deeply rooted, without a reason.
It was plain quietness but it wasn't any awkward at all.
Miss that moment.
Miss those peaceful days.
Mysterious mist rises from nowhere, the buildings outside the windows suddenly become blurred.
I blinked.
The water gashing sound came washing away all wild thoughts like the merciless tidal waves, forcing one to come back to reality.
Carefully kept those little precious moments back into the box and put it back at a safe place in my mind.
Gently I knocked on that door, opened it and wear that smile to masked the storm that just went through my mind, "You done?"
Quietly I am sitting, riding through those moments again as I pen it down.
How could I have forgotten those times?
Certain things, it cannot be joke upon, no doubt, for it take years to built seconds to break...
Blogged this before so I am not going to post the video, but it is one song that was looping in my mind the whole of yesterday as I was wandering around.
☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★
矛盾
作詞：姚若龍
作曲：鄭楠
編曲：韓立康
製作人：王治平，郭文宗
希望被疼惜 又不屑被放口袋裡
願意去相信 又將真心關得好緊
想改造自己想粉碎孤寂
卻搞亂自己卻打破愛情
太多的反省 壓力像鬼如影隨形
最初的幸運 最終會不會是囚禁
想膜拜心靈想特立獨行
卻服從規矩卻沉沒人群
多矛盾
同樣一個懷抱水火都沸騰
快樂凝望不快樂 妥協共生
同樣一個腦袋對立的靈魂
勇敢挑釁不勇敢 激烈辯論
但願夠默契 就能抵擋耳語來襲
但是再親密 人隔著心就有距離
想兩全其美就不得安寧
習慣不強求又挑戰宿命
多矛盾
同樣一個懷抱水火都沸騰
快樂凝望不快樂 妥協共生
同樣一個腦袋對立的靈魂
勇敢挑釁不勇敢 激烈辯論
同樣一個懷抱水火都沸騰
快樂凝望不快樂 妥協共生
同樣一個腦袋對立的靈魂
勇敢挑釁不勇敢 激烈辯論
反抗矛盾 反而矛盾
☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★
As much as I do not want to believe, I think it has relapsed.
I cannot control the tremors.
Just like before.
☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★
Sometimes...
I really don't like how the whole system work, but I have to live with it.
It happened when other people from another company came and "confirm" with me on something that is related to me.
But I never tell them.
...
...
...
What are you trying to proof?
Or rather...
I should be thankful.
That I know that someone has been talking about me?
I always always bear in mind...
What Xiaoting shared during assembly on one of the days in my JC days....
Our tongue is actually one of the strongest weapon, hold it well because it can do great harm if you had used it loosely.
Can't agree more.
The next I should...
Shut my ears?
Speaking of Xiaoting... I missed her. Wonder how she is doing but there is no way I could find her despite of me trying different ways and means.
Maybe...
Whatever that is kept in memories are always the best because we beautify it on our own? Better done than any apps on Planet Earth.
Hope she has been and is doing very well.
.....
☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★
Call me petty or calculative what-so-ever.
But I think it is just WRONG to gain glory at the expense of others sacrificing for you, that is just plain selfish.
I love flowers.
I love pink.
I'm dainty and dirty; not a trace.
I party till dawn,
I shop till dusk.
That's coz...
I'm a girl. And a beautiful one too.
The DIVA ♥
M A R I A ( N A D I A H )
M A R I A M ( F I O N E )
The GAMBLER Sagittarius.
AND
The PERFECTIONIST Virgo.
Seemingly impossible. BUT THEY WERE THE BEST FRIENDS.
Met in a Summer in 2002.
♥ LOVES CATS ♥.
Enjoys having Pizza together.
Go Wild in a KTV.
And will LOVE each other till time ends.
WISHLIST ♥
F O R M A R I A. A DEGREE.
F O R M A R I A M. Machu Picchu.
HER AUDIENCES ♥
They applauded her and gave her a standing ovation.
