Life is constantly changing.
One and a half months ago we were still teasing each other, happy to see each other once in a few days.
Cherishing those times that we were on the same shift.
Those hugs.
Those warm smile on the face.
How you would shout across the ward and called that nick you gave me.
Though I don't really have full faith in you, I was slowly putting my guard down.
We are now left with nothing but "Thank you".
I don't know.
Seriously.
Certain things I cannot agree with you, in the way you handle people you don't like, the way you mock at them behind their back which is also the main reason why I can't let my guard down totally.
And I know what you are doing behind my back now also.
THAT is probably the worst nightmare one can have when someone you know kinda well turned to become your foe.
Sad and honestly...
Traumatized.
May be...
He is trying to set things right for me, saving me those people that I can truly rely on, people that I can safely give my back to them because He knows how blinded I can be, people that truly truly love me.
I have to admit that this,
is really a very tough battle.
But perhaps...
I should still be glad.
That this happened now, not earlier when I still have to face her everyday, not later when I have let her into my little castle more, otherwise the damage done would be way worse.
Though...
I am still upset over it.
A lot of broken ties and it is ONLY May.
I begin to wonder who would I have left with at the end of this year.
I need more time and support.
Speaking of which...
Only recently I have felt that power of speech again.
Seriously, never like to be around with people who would pass remark on everything and anything, for I would never know when will the person pass comments about me behind my back like how that person casually passed remark on another person.
Once or twice is still not too bad.
Too frequent it will really impact on how others look at the person.
I have to be really more careful for now.
Sigh.
I just want some peace, can't I?
Speaking of which...
Only recently I have felt that power of speech again.
Seriously, never like to be around with people who would pass remark on everything and anything, for I would never know when will the person pass comments about me behind my back like how that person casually passed remark on another person.
Once or twice is still not too bad.
Too frequent it will really impact on how others look at the person.
I have to be really more careful for now.
Sigh.
I just want some peace, can't I?
