《移除你》鄺俊宇
為了終止那不斷循環的痛楚，所以你決定unfriend那個人，可是按下這個鍵以後，你的世界又是否就此平靜了？
你沒有辦法，你不想忽然在沒有心理準備下在動態裡看見他，明明心跳已回復平常，卻又因他忽然的出現而讓你的心跳亂撞，最可笑的是，他未必知道他某張照片，某句近況，某首分享的歌曲，會讓在屏幕另一邊的你又靜止下來，沒表情但心裡卻混亂。
然後你忍不住click進那個人的facebook，有多久沒看過了？不記得，只記得你曾經很努力戒掉分開以後那段時間每天都來看他facebook的習慣。
太久了，在你沒有再看他facebook之後，感覺他好像走遠了一點，可是直到在動態裡偶爾又看見他的名字，你再揭開這理應結疤了的傷口。
可是你看到了什麼？
你看到了一個好像很熟悉，卻又很陌生的一個人，他離開了你以後，你好像從來沒有認識過這個人，他的一舉，他的一動，他的一顰，他的一笑，都與你再無任何的關係。
他曾在某夜寫了一句，分享了某一首歌詞，某一篇文章，他也在懷念你嗎？你不知道，越去猜，越糾結，就算他也曾懷念過你，又如何？
他對你的懷念，你對他的思念，加起來不足讓舊情能復熾，那就已經沒意思了。
然後某一天，你決定跟這個人告別了。
告別的方法，他或許不會知道，但當你決定按下跟這個人的unfriend鍵，也代表你終於決定剪掉跟他其中的一條線。
願你能脫離這份不斷循環的痛楚。
移除你，到此為止。
／／「我再沒勇氣向你講舊時，沒有勇氣相愛另一次，為你將睡眠忘記，通宵傾談，但已經頓成往事」
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It is sad to have to resort to this.
I don't love but neither do I hate.
I WAS okay with you, even though you did drive me a little bit up on the edge occasionally, it was tolerable.
Until things happened.
I didn't purposely go and follow you, NEVER DID I INTEND TO even click to your page to see.
They didn't let me off.
I kept running into you, like a cat-and-rat game, the more I do not want to see you to be reminded of you, the more I keep on running into you. And the more frequent you appear in my news feed.
When the pain is too much that whenever anything related to you appeared in my life to the point of even when you name mentioned it will trigger nothing but all the undesired feelings, dislike, sadness, pain, to a point that one day when that little tint of hatred surfaced that shocked me big time...
I tried every ways and means to halt it. Attempted to look at the good side, suppress the negative feelings, not feeding it, not thinking about it... The harder I tried, something will just come and stir up and the cycle will start all over again till I am at wits end...
Removing became not an option but an answer in order to achieve ultimate peace.
At least now, when I am not reminded of you and your presence, I feel more calm.
So...
Probably, the decision in not seeing you again no matter is not wrong.
Because it made me feel more sinned, whenever the rage and that strong uncomfortable desired of hatred came whenever you are being mentioned/appeared in sight.
At least now, that day when your name was mentioned in a conversation, I only feel a small prick in there, not that devil creating turmoil in there.
I am working on it still. That wasn't right, I know. Yet this, is the only way that I know will be effective, no matter how much other would think that this shouldn't be the way, then again at the very least, by far it is working.
