Visited her today.
Twin and I were on the way home and talking about it, she found out slightly later. I told her sorry that to me, I felt that respecting her choice is more important, so I cannot tell her anything about it.
Anyway.
As we were talking about it, think we are both upset with what happened.
I tried not to let myself break down. It is tough, yet...
If it is already there, is there any point in crying?
I AM UPSET.
But I told myself I have to be strong for her, to give her the support needed.
FOCUS, is what I have been telling myself.
I need to make myself stronger in order to support Techno, even though I might not be the best person to be able to help her, yet no matter how small, I felt the need to contribute to make things better, given my limited time on this.
Dear, you can do it. Give yourself a little push, you know it can be done.
Focus on your goal, do what you can.
Give more.
Let Him lead the way.
I was talking to her another day.
Another her.
She was sharing with me how one consultant commented that it could be the last festive season they have with their love ones.
It is indeed true.
We would never know when is the last festive season we have with our love ones.
Just like 3rd Uncle, little do I expect that it would be my last meal with him.
I could never forget that he seemed a little disappointed when I told him that I may not be able to do weekly meals with him and aunt anymore soon because of the change in the shift patterns that I have.
And the next day, I never have the chance again.
I did not foresee that it was my last Chinese New Year with him back then.
This goes the same as her, we might not have a next year anymore.
I used to be fretful when I have to think of all these.
This is especially so after his death, for I wasn't given a chance to bid proper farewell, until the two consecutive nights I saw him.
Now, I realized that if I were to waste all those time to live with fear, why didn't I take those time to cherish what I have with each other?
Use those time to convert to something more meaningful.
Do something to fill them as a part in my little black book.
A page to remember.
Sheila.
Veronica.
Phyllis.
Each and everyone of you, made me what I am, today.
Gave me the armor that I need to fight this battle.
=]
Silver lining.
Side track a bit.
I was speaking to someone another day.
We have come to a conclusion that having cancer, could be one of the better death.
Because as compared to cardiac arrest that came so brutal and abrupt, cancer allowed you to have time to prepare yourself, to achieve closure and bid a proper farewell with the love of your life. Process could be painful, BUT, it is a chance given after all.
Don't you think so?
I was talking to her another day.
Another her.
She was sharing with me how one consultant commented that it could be the last festive season they have with their love ones.
It is indeed true.
We would never know when is the last festive season we have with our love ones.
Just like 3rd Uncle, little do I expect that it would be my last meal with him.
I could never forget that he seemed a little disappointed when I told him that I may not be able to do weekly meals with him and aunt anymore soon because of the change in the shift patterns that I have.
And the next day, I never have the chance again.
I did not foresee that it was my last Chinese New Year with him back then.
This goes the same as her, we might not have a next year anymore.
I used to be fretful when I have to think of all these.
This is especially so after his death, for I wasn't given a chance to bid proper farewell, until the two consecutive nights I saw him.
Now, I realized that if I were to waste all those time to live with fear, why didn't I take those time to cherish what I have with each other?
Use those time to convert to something more meaningful.
Do something to fill them as a part in my little black book.
A page to remember.
Sheila.
Veronica.
Phyllis.
Each and everyone of you, made me what I am, today.
Gave me the armor that I need to fight this battle.
=]
Silver lining.
Side track a bit.
I was speaking to someone another day.
We have come to a conclusion that having cancer, could be one of the better death.
Because as compared to cardiac arrest that came so brutal and abrupt, cancer allowed you to have time to prepare yourself, to achieve closure and bid a proper farewell with the love of your life. Process could be painful, BUT, it is a chance given after all.
Don't you think so?
