The bad news has caught everyone in shock, all of us are affected. Heard that Jen cried on the spot.
Nothing really THAT serious but...
My department is gonna be closed down and they are converting to a half Paediatric half Gynaecology ward. All the Onco-trained staff and those they intended to send for onco-course are being transferred out and the reason they gave to us is that we are not making money. Lame though but it's from the authorities, there is nothing we can do.
Everyone is quite badly affected, I see anger, I see frustrations, I see sadness, the morale in the department has purged to the lowest. Ah Ma called and talk and talk and talk last night at 1am plus when I was at work, nobody has any idea on what to do.
Apparently those who are "going for oncology course" are "specially selected"; I don't mean anything but, this "selection" do gave me a feeling that "we" are "unwanted".
Jie Ying asked me why am I not selected because they know that I have an interest in Oncology, she said I should make it known to Sister.
Haiz.
How to?
Not that I don't want to, but looking at Sister now, she looked so tired and lost, I really don't know how should I go about doing it. Well it is not that she don't know I supposed, last year we have a "career path form" which allowed us to indicate which area are we interested in and for me I filled in Oncology or Gerontology, and the thing is that I am being "kicked" into the Onco-Support Group, I thought she knows. And almost everyone in the place knows and I have talked to her before about the wish to specialize.
I don't know is it because of the recent incident but...
I just feel that I am almost of no value to the place somehow. It is very negative but that is how I feel. I don't know how many of you readers here understand exactly what I am trying to express here and I don't know how many of my colleagues are reading this blog. Anyway, this is just a way to let off some steam and unhappiness as what Sister said before, each and everyone of us have to let off the stress somehow somewhere. I believe everything happens for a reason and if that is what they, the people up there wants, there is nothing we can do because that is how things work, our voice is too minute to be heard.
I have totally no mood to work for the silly debate now but I cannot just leave it because I just realised today that the event will take place in less than a week's time. Haiz, imagine staying in the hospital till like 12pm plus for the meeting after 2 nights of work, I collapsed into my bed immediately after I reached home without even having the chance to take off my socks. I am very drained, both physically and mentally.
I think I really need a holiday for a break to do some quiet thinking.
